Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Hork!

Is there really anything worse than being awakened at 3am to the sound of a cat vomiting somewhere in your bedroom, and just knowing you're going to step in it on the way to the light switch?

Friday, February 22, 2008

...We donm't need no steeenkeen title!

(look Thia, I posted!)

You ever wonder how long it takes people in the dentistry business to learn to not say, "OH SWEET JESUS ON A HALF-SHELL! THAT'S THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"?

I don't know either.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Got milk?

Everybody that deals with my department at work has dropped some incarnation of chocolatey-goodness on us for the holidays.

I'm within three cookies of being able to bleed Hershey's syrup.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

You better watch out

You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm tellin' you why
Santa Claus is do-in'
Urmom!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Hate to see the worst...

You know that one song," It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?

It ain't.

Shopping mosh-pits. Traffic that doesn't move. Screaming brats. Stress about coming up with THE PERFECT GIFT. Guilt from realizing that distant relatives have become strangers to you. Guilt if you don't drop some cash in the bucket of every idjit ringing a bell (don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact). Guilt that you might have spent less on the gifts you're giving, than others spent on the gifts you're receiving. Guilt for making people feel guilty that you spent more on the gifts they're receiving, than the gifts they're giving you.

Guilt because you see what we've made of, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year", and know you did your part to keep the soul crushing beast alive.

GAH!!!!




'course it is kinda fun to put jingle bells on me work boots. Makes me sound like an elf doing a Clint Eastwood impression.